


The Strength of our Anchor

by truecaptainswanlove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 23:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11679666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truecaptainswanlove/pseuds/truecaptainswanlove
Summary: Killian contemplates getting a new tattoo but Emma misunderstands its meaning.





	The Strength of our Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the following quote: "Life's storms prove the strength of our anchor." (Tried to find the author, I think it might be from the Bible maybe? One website said Hebrews 6:19 anyway but that's all I could find). Takes place a few months after Emma and Killian are married.

Emma opened the door, breathing deeply as the smell of cooking hit her. For someone who only had one hand and was three hundred years old, Killian had proven to be adept in the kitchen, something that had surprised her. She had been a bit nervous when he first started cooking, sure she would come home one day to find the house burned to the ground, but she’d had nothing to worry about. Once Killian learned the basics of the appliances, he had taken to cooking most of the meals, which was probably a good thing since Emma’s specialty was grilled cheese. She could follow a recipe fine but she just didn’t enjoy cooking, preferring to spend her time doing other things. For Killian though, he said being in the kitchen reminded him of when he was younger, helping his mother with the cooking until she passed away due to illness. Emma breathed in deep, her mouth watering at the smell. Following her nose, she made her way to the kitchen to find Killian at the stove, stirring something in a pot. Pausing for a moment to look at him, Emma smiled. The domestic moments were one of the best parts of married life; it had only been a few months but she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of them.

“Hey there,” she interrupted him, causing him to turn his head and smile. Walking over to see what he was cooking, Emma gave him a quick peck on the cheek before peering into the pot. “What smells so good?”

“Hello love,” he replied. “That would be garlic bread that you smell. I was making spaghetti for dinner if that’s okay?”

“Anything is okay as long as I don’t have to cook it,” Emma said with a smirk. “How was your day? Do anything on your day off?” Most of the time Emma and Killian worked together for the day shift but once in a while one of them would take the night shift just in case anything happened and then take the next day off. Last night had been Killian’s turn.

Killian tilted his head as he thought, reaching out to turn the burner heating up the pasta sauce off. “Mmm, let’s see. I did a few things around the house this morning. Then I ran a few errands in town this afternoon. Other than that, it was a pretty quiet day. How was your day in the office? Anything exciting happen?”

“As exciting as it ever gets around here lately. I never thought I’d say this but I kind of missing having a villain around to battle. Now the most exciting thing that ever happens is the dwarves fighting amongst themselves. I got a lot of paper work done though, so that was good.”

Killian gave her an incredulous look. “You don’t really wish for another villain, do you love? I know things have been quiet lately but isn’t that a good thing?” As he spoke, Killian drained the spaghetti before pulling the bread out of the oven.

“I’m just kidding,” she reassured him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Emma said flirtatiously, “If there had been a villain around, we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy our life as newlyweds _nearly_ as much.”

“Hmm, you think?” Killian smirked, placing his hand and hook on her hips. “I think we would have managed just fine,” he said as he leaned forward to kiss her. Returning it eagerly, Emma ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the downy softness of it. God, the man could kiss. Emma was sure after fifty years of marriage, she would never be tired of it.

After a few minutes, Emma reluctantly pulled back. “We should probably stop for now. I’d hate to ruin the amazing dinner you cooked.”

Sighing, Killian nodded his head. “All right love. But perhaps we could continue this later?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Promise,” she said. Taking a step back, Emma went to the cupboards and pulled down a couple plates and started to set the table. Seeing a book at Killian’s place, she reached out to move it. Pausing, Emma saw that it was a book of tattoo art and it was open to a page of nautical tattoos. “What’s this?” Emma questioned him.

Looking to see what she was talking about, Killian replied, “Oh, I’ve been thinking about getting a new tattoo and when I was in town I stopped at the tattoo shop to see what they offered. They let me take that home to take a look at and see what I wanted.”

“A new tattoo huh? When did you start thinking about that?”

“Just the last week or so. Why Swan, would it bother you if I did?” Killian asked with a concerned look on his face.

“No, of course not,” she assured him. Emma loved his tattoos; they all had special meaning to him and revealed a bit more about his life. One of Emma’s favorite things to do was trace the tattoos with her fingertips in the privacy of their bedroom, in the early morning before they were fully awake or late at night when they had just finished making love and ask him about when and why he had gotten them. “I like your tattoos. Have you decided what you want to get? I assume something to do with the sea, judging by the page you were looking at.”

Coming over to stand by her, Killian nodded his head in agreement. “Aye, I find I’m a bit partial to those ones. I was thinking of getting the anchor, actually.”

Taking a closer look at it, Emma could see why it was appealing. It was very simple but still striking; the anchor itself was shaded in, the different shades showing the edges running down the middle and the sharp points at the end. “I think that would look good,” she agreed. “Is there any special meaning to this one or did you want to get it just because?”

“Well love, I was actually thinking of getting it for you and our love.”

Emma froze at his words, her blood running cold. He wanted to get an _anchor_ as a permanent representation for her? Did that mean he thought she was tying him down to this life they shared? Emma was sure Killian missed going on adventures on the Jolly Roger like he used to in his pirating days but she had thought he loved her more, that he didn’t consider it a sacrifice to give up that life. But maybe he viewed it differently. Maybe he felt she was holding him back, tying him down to a life he didn’t want. Emma felt tears prick at her eyes.

“Emma, love?” she heard Killian question, concern lacing his voice. “Are you all right?”

Emma felt her temper rise suddenly. “No, I am not all right!” she snapped, keeping her back to him.

“What’s wrong love?” he asked gently, placing his hand on her shoulder. Emma ripped her arm away, whirling towards him, ignoring the look of hurt on his face.

“What’s wrong is that I just found out my husband doesn’t want this life!” Emma nearly shouted at him, trying not to let her voice break.

“What are you talking about love? Of course I want this life Emma, it’s why I asked you to marry me,” Killian said, a slight edge of anger creeping into his voice. Emma felt her own temper rise in return. He had no right to be angry right now.

“Oh really? Then why do you want a tattoo that basically says I’m tying you to this life, that I’m dragging you down? God Killian, I thought you wanted this! I thought you wanted this life,” Emma said, her voice finally breaking. “I knew you’d miss the freedom of sailing on the open seas but I thought this was enough, that I was enough for you!”

“Emma…” Killian started, reaching out for her but Emma held out her hand to stop him.

“Don’t,” she pleaded. “I just need to be alone right now.” And with a wave of her hand, Emma disappeared.

*****

Killian stared at the spot Emma had vanished from, running his hand over his face and muttering, “Bloody hell.” He had never thought the tattoo would cause this kind of reaction from her. If she had only given him a chance to explain its meaning, this whole thing could have been avoided. But what Killian was having trouble comprehending was that Emma honestly thought he didn’t want her, that she wasn’t enough. He knew she had been let down by others in the past but Killian thought he had proven himself to Emma. Running his hand through his hair, Killian mulled over where Emma might have gone. Normally he would respect her wishes and leave her be but he couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone, thinking she wasn’t wanted. She’d want to be somewhere she could have privacy, somewhere that would soothe her soul and she could think in peace.

Realizing in an instant where Emma had gone, Killian strode towards the door, determined to make this right.

*****

Emma stared out at the water, the grey, churning turmoil of the water matching the turmoil she was feeling. In fact, it seemed like everything matched her mood; the leaden sky, the dark clouds threatening rain, the swirling wind, the feeling of desolation that was currently present at the docks. When Emma had transported herself from the house, this had been the first place she had thought of. There had always been something soothing about the water, even when it was choppy and churning like it currently was. She often came to the docks when she wanted to think or to be alone. Taking a deep breath, Emma felt the salty sea air fill her lungs, feeling like a balm to her soul. But then that reminded her why she was here in the first place and she felt the tears return.

She just couldn’t believe Killian felt tied down because of her. He had seemed so happy since they’d gotten together and even more so since they got married. She had really thought he’d been content with this life but she must have been wrong.

“Emma?” came a familiar voice from behind her. Turning her head, Emma saw Killian a few feet away, tentatively approaching her. Emma felt her heart clench, a mix of sadness and love overwhelming her.

“What are you doing here,” she whispered. “I told you I wanted to be alone.” But as she said it, Emma knew that that wasn’t what she had wanted, not really. Maybe all those other times she ran away, she had just wanted someone to come after her, like she knew deep in her heart Killian always would.

“I know love but I couldn’t let you believe what you were saying for a second longer. Would it be all right if I explained what I meant by that tattoo and if you still want to be alone I promise I’ll honor your wish?”

Hesitating, Emma nodded her head. Killian came to sit beside her, slowly reaching out towards her to see how she’d react. When she didn’t move, he gently clasped her hand in his, entwining their fingers. Closing her eyes at the familiar sensation, Emma took a deep breath, bracing herself. Opening her eyes, she met his gaze head on and nodded.

“The way you interpreted the tattoo could be one interpretation I suppose but I swear to you Emma, that is not how I see it.” Not sensing a lie in his voice, Emma nodded at him to continue. “The way I thought of it love was that you keep me grounded, you keep me from drifting away into darkness or self-loathing, the way an anchor keeps a ship from drifting away in the wind. If it hadn’t been for you Emma, I would have given into darkness a long time ago. I almost did as the Dark One” (his face tensed up at this and Emma gently squeezed his hand to reassure him) “but it was you that pulled me back. There are times when I’m tempted love but you keep pulling me back onto the right path. That’s what I thought of when I saw that tattoo. It has nothing to do with not wanting you or this life, so please perish the thought Emma.”

Emma felt tears prick her eyes again for an entirely different reason. “Killian,” she whispered, emotion choking her voice, “that’s beautiful.”

“Well, love, it’s the truth,” he said simply, reaching up to gently wipe away the tears that had escaped.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said, reaching up to run her hand over his jaw. “I should have asked you what it meant instead of assuming and overreacting.”

“It’s all right love. I know you’ve been hurt in the past and those scars still linger.”

“No, it’s not all right,” Emma sighed, frustrated with herself. “You’ve more than proven that you’ll never do anything to hurt me but I still have that tendency to expect the worst of people sometimes. I thought I was getting over it but I guess not.”

“Hey,” he said gently, “I get it. It’s not easy to shake your past and you spent years expecting people to disappoint you. But I told you once that I didn’t intend to let you down and I plan on keeping my word.”

“I know,” she said. “And I promise I’ll try to always see the best in you, even when I’m telling myself to expect the worst.” Leaning forward, Emma sealed the deal with a kiss.

When they pulled apart, Emma rested her forehead against his, saying, “We should probably head home. That spaghetti is still waiting for us.”

“Let’s stay a few minutes,” Killian suggested. “The food can wait.” Wrapping his arm around her, Killian pulled her closer, Emma resting her head on his shoulder.

“How’d you know where to find me?” she asked.

“Open book, Swan,” was all he said. “I know your heart better than anyone.”

Smiling at his words, Emma snuggled in closer. She’d come a long way from the person she was when she first came to Storybrooke but there were days she still struggled with her demons. Those days were becoming fewer and far between thanks to Killian’s love and patience but Emma was determined to put her demons behind her for good. Killian had never given Emma a reason to doubt him and she didn’t want to start looking for any. They’d been through a lot, tested at almost every turn, but each test just proved how strong their love for each other was and Emma knew they could take on anything life threw at them, as long as they believed in each other.

Getting as close to Killian as physically possible, Emma looked out at the clearing sky, the sun just setting over the horizon. Their happy beginning had only just begun and Emma couldn’t wait to see where it took them.


End file.
